When I think of the word acting, first thing that runs through my emotions is fear. I say fear because at times I let my emotions get the best of me. If I want to be an actor, why is fear part of what I bring out? I’m not talking about the fear of getting in front of a camera or on stage, but the kind that reveals to me how horrible or good I am. As actors, we all get critical of our work; wondering if the audience will applaud to us or if a review from a film will be taken critically. Whether we are full blown actors, background, stage or theater, we all get the same gist. We all start off somewhere; either it is an actor with a one line, background or a prop.
Staring at a face on television or in a magazine, we see nothing but perfection. Times we think that their on screen performance was perfect, or they were made to play this part. Going through the emotions of an actor can be difficult. It doesn’t come easy, nor does it play out right. The faces we see on film portraying a character are just like you and I. There isn’t anything special about them; just a famous name or a character they had played for years. They all started out either as a supporting role, passerby, one liner or just your everyday background actors.
Now an actor is who I am. I’m not becoming one. I already am. If I’m staging theater, having a one line part, a supporting role, or running around wild in the background, I’m still an actor. The catch of this everyday job is to continue grabbing as much work as possible. To perfect your craft of acting, is just like perfecting your writing. You need to tweak, pull, stretch your character and even consider the possibility of revising your craft until you get it right. Even when you reach that point of perfection, there is that possibility of revision.
Joining the cast of 90210 was a great experience. On television right now, there is a new creation of the classic television series, created by Aaron Spelling. The series ran on for 10 seasons, and being part of that was truly amazing. Having a few lines for that show required a lot of work. The cast was so experienced in how they brought their emotions with the lines, it made me feel like I had a long way to go. Being around on set all day, made you feel like you’ve been there since the beginning of the show. At times I felt that I wished I was chosen to be a major character, but being handpicked for a few lines was an honor. Spending hour after hour with my co-stars, enduring the moments of battling emotions, was a way for me to understand why we act.
There were times during shooting when we had to wait hour after hour until the other actors were ready to read. Acting doesn’t come easy and takes a lot of hard work. I learned firsthand that if your line requires you to cry, what do you do to make yourself cry? For some it’s easy, but the tears need to be real. Conjuring up a lot of hurt in your life can bring the real tears to screen. Some say that if you wipe an onion underneath your eyelids; you can cry. That doesn’t work, will only sting your eye. For a one line with my character crying, can take almost five hours for the actor to get into their character. At one point of the season, I had to cry for a scene, but eventually got edited out. What was the point on doing that scene, if it was going to get cut out? That is the way of acting and directing, we never know if our scene will be useful. But boy was it hard! I was lost on how to cry on cue, because it didn’t come easy for me. Thank God for takes in between scenes. At that time, crying didn’t come easy for me, so I had to stop the rolling camera numerous times. I was told to think of something sad, or get to a place in life that was the darkest for me. Production on that scene, stopped abruptly. The director gave me a few days to work on it and to see an acting coach that specialized in dealing with emotions for the camera. It was difficult but I got there. The acting coach gave me a few pointers on dealing with him. He didn’t want me coming to see him excited or happy. I was told to come feeling angry or sad, having that feeling of not wanting to be there. That’s exactly what I did and it worked. I conjured up anger all day, and had the ringing of annoyance around me. So when I got to my coach, it was easy for me to let go of all that I had inside me. At times, the cast would put aside their time to help me out with my few lines that I had. Having scenes with them caused me to build up friendships while shooting out on location. I had to spend days with them to have that camaraderie build up on camera. There were difficult days because I had trouble memorizing my lines on cue. I wasn’t the only one that had that problem, thank god. Even the most experienced members of the cast had trouble. On set, there were vocal coaches and directors for acting to keep you motivated and on top of your game.
What you see on television for a one hour episode, takes a lot longer than that. We don’t see what’s behind all that make believe. The countless hours of rehearsal, endless days of memorization, and sometimes uneasiness around the cast brought out the inner character in you. The cast of 90210 are just like you and I. They have the same issues as us all. I remember always thinking they had no personal issues; life was great being a television star. But I was very wrong. Being overwhelmed with how famous their names are, caused a little fright for me. Not fright as in running away, but messing up and not meeting up to their standards.
Life on set can be very hectic and tiring. Being on set can range from 12-15 hours everyday making sure everything meets up to par with the script. I remember waking up at 4am for dress rehearsal and make up. After leaving the set the night before around midnight and only having 4 hours of sleep was a drag. At times I hated it because I was so tired but all the company of the crew made it easy. Having catered food at the ends of your fingertips was always easy. But for some of the cast, who might be needed to show some skin, they had to stick with the vegetables and fruit. The desserts that were provided were very tempting not to grab one. When you’re not needed for your scene, it’s cool because you can spend the day with the rest of the crew out in town. For what you see on television, there is a lot going on behind that episode. You have lighting, electricians, makeup artists, coaches, teachers, directors, producers, etc., running all over the set. It is never quiet, except when they call Action. Most of the time, the camera is working around you, making sure your not nervous. You’re basically calling the shots when it comes to making your character perform.
On an average day on set, wake-up call is at 3am, wardrobe and makeup at 4, scene rehearsal at 5, and breakfast and waiting is at 6. At times, even though were up so early, shooting didn’t start till like late in the afternoon. If you wake up all groggy eyed and feel like crap, its okay, the makeup department can fix it up. I’ve had plenty of those days. It feels weird to sit in a chair while a lady puts on your face, even though I’m a guy. But as actors, we all need to have that great skin to shine on camera. We don’t want to have blotchy or pale looking skin; unless it’s what our character needs. You walk through the sets and you see nothing but living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, high school hallways and classrooms that we liked to call our second home. It’s where we laughed, cried, sat, slept and used all of our characters emotions.
Acting is a way for everyday people to bring out their own emotions. That’s why I act. I like acting but at times the real feelings that we endure everyday; it’s a way to establish that on film. Others can be scared of that spotlight, but remember, every day we express our emotions to each other, just like what an actor does to a camera. No matter what you do in life, you can still be that walking actor, even though you’re not on film.
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